The first time you try anything new, whether it be an experience, person, food, place, artform, article of clothing, or sport, is always both frightening and exciting. I'd been eagerly awaiting this day, the start of this new quest ever since I first learned that I'd be included in the journey back in February, trying not to get too excited, trying not to create the experience or the emotions that I anticipated feeling before I actually got to genuinely feel them. I've discovered that this is harder than it seems. My mind is constantly chattering and I never noticed it before yoga. So while I sat in class, in my internship, on the subway, while I walked through the hours preceding the start of the program I tried to stay committed to silencing this mental chatter. I didn't want expectations to cloud the experience.
I was introduced to some wonderful people today. I got to interview Cheu (pronounced Chow) who lives in Brooklyn, works in finance, rides horses, and recently attended to the American Gymnastics Cup at Madison Square Garden. She, like everyone else in the room, was a beautiful presence. This introductory day sort of felt like one big love-fest wherein everyone genuinly cares about each other because we all genuinely care about yoga. It's nice to share commonalties with people, to be able to relate to people about things that you all care deeply about. Being in a room filled with people who are so devoted to their yogic lifestyles, who each bring a different personality, a different light to the room is so refreshing. I love everyone in this program because I love yoga and yoga is love.
Apart from the myriad of beautiful personalities that I took with me out into the real world after this first day were some vital pieces of information that I think will make this process (and life!) much more fluid. Two pieces of advice particularly resonated with me:
1. Trust the process...... Each one of us is bringing particular strengths and weaknesses to the table. I think it's important to remember that balance is what we are striving for in yoga and in all areas of our life..... the balance of prana and apana, of mind, body and breath, balance in our poses, and, here, balancing our strengths and our weaknesses. Yoga is all about "waste management" and our strengths can be vital resources for rooting out our defects - we can use our strength to transform our weaknesses into strengths. The conversion of weakness to strength is a key component of yoga.
2. Don't be afraid to fail! - fail, fail, fail, and then fail some more. We learn from our mistakes. It's only by making them that we can grow stronger, wiser, better, more flexible, more caring, loving - whatever it is that we strive for. Failure is a part of the process! In this sense, not being afraid of failure becomes a subcategory of not being afraid to trust the process! I once had a gymnastics coach who told me "don't get intimidated, get inspired!" Intimidation is fear; fear of failure, fear of being "less" than someone else, than not living up to other people's or our own standards. Inspiration is humbling. It is seeing the beauty in someone else and not feeling like we can never be "as good" as someone else, but that we can reach our greatest capacity for good by using them as a channel of inspiration. Getting inspired means admitting that there are others who possess qualities that we can learn from, that we can use in our own lives to grow and to love. It's like Marianne Williamson says....
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."
What can be more beautiful than liberting others BY liberating ourselves? It's sort of a no-brainer! Be the best you can be so that others can be inspired to be the best they can be!
Yoga is love and this process is abounding with so much love. I am so grateful to be here, to be surrounded by so many inspiring people, to be blessed with with this experience that is already so incredible even though it has barely just begun.
In love,
Leila
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