I love all of our guest teachers/speakers! They all have so much to offer and I wish they could stay with us for an eternity! Today, Sam came for another asana lesson. He went over binds and jump backs/forwards. His teaching style is light, humorous, and contemporary. He reminds me so, so much of my brother. He's one of those people who you just want to be around. One piece of advice that he gave us tonight still resonates with me and I'd like to keep it! He told us to embrace our limitations and our possibilities so that we can transform our limitations INTO possibilities. This is beautiful. There is so much potential in all of us; physically, spiritually, mentally, emotionally. Sam really brought this aspect of yoga, this potential for greatness and liberation inherent in all of us, to our awareness.
Later on, Lauren (?) came in for adjustments. We practiced entering into another person's energy space touching and feeling out another person's body. You body has a lot of potential energy When you give adjustments, you want to transfer this energy into your hands so that it can be transferred to the person you are touching. Touch is so powerful. I have a new appreciation for my mom and massage therapy! I loved this part of the program. I think I have a good awareness of energy spaces and of how to go about touching another person in a way that makes them feel comfortable and reassured because of my experience coaching gymnastics.
At the end of the day we go to practice taking someone through the beginning YTTP sequence into warrior II. I think that if we can be with the person that we are correcting, if we can really observe them and if we are there for THEM, not for ourselves, then we can be great, GREAT teachers. If we can do this, if we can transfer all of the knowledge, energy, and love that we have acquired from and though life and yoga, then there is nothing to be afraid of, nothing to fear but fear itself.
I love gymnastics, but it is something that you can really only do while you're young and able. I love writing and reading and inspirational stuff, but I can only sit in a chair and absorb all of it for so long before I want to move and apply it. I love yoga because it embodies both of these disciplines. It engages your body, your mind, and your spirit and I can;t believe I waited this long to discover its benefits, to discover my breath, to draw awareness to all of these esoteric spaces in my life.
In love,
Leila
Monday, March 24, 2008
Yoga! Day 8!
I have definitely, DEFINITELY learned not to expect ANYTHING, that expectations always shatter in the face of reality. Today, Greg shocked us into realizing this. Instead of our traditional Yoga class, we did something compeltely different, unexpected, and beautiful. I know it's something that I'll probably remember forever because I'm crying as I write this and think about it. So we were all instructed to stand on our mats facing forward with our eyes closed and our eyes down by our sides. Then, over the course of what was supposed to last an hour, we had to lift our arms up along our sides and eventually bring the overhead so that one palm met another. In the middle of the process, Greg told us to focus on our most painful experience and just be with it. How did we feel? Who was there? Who were we blaming? Who was hurting us? etc. etc. etc. It was another extremely emotional experience for a lot of people in the room. I found that all the painful experiences that came to my mind were ones that had to do with my parents not loving each other. When one parent hurt the other, this also hurt me more than anything else, more than any physical pain, more than the pain that my arms were feeling as the sloly levitated up along side me.
It only took about 30 minutes for everyone to experience that the exercise was supposed to allow us to experience. We all cried, alot. I found that I was crying not so much for myself, becuase of myself, but becuase of others. After it was over, we had to sit in two straight lines and just stare into the eyes of the person across from us. It was so beautiful. Your eyes are the windows to your soul. While I was looking deep, deep into the eyes of the person across from me I really, really felt their inner beauty, their inner light, their essence. But there was also that mystery. What is really going on inside this human being?
Then we had to sit in a big circle and trust each other fully and completely. We each had to stand up in the middle, look everyone in the eye, and sy" My name is ______ and what you don't know about me is ______." A deep, revealing secret. This really, really made me cry. I think that other's suffering has a bigger impact on me than my own suffering. During the arm exercise I was with my pain, I felt it, but it somehow seemed so distant and I was felt like I couldn 't really bring it to the forefront of my awareness. But seeing everyone reveal themselves, being with their saddness, their hurt, their suppressed secrets, really REALLY made me feel for them and for humanity.
Yoga is so cosmic! Life is so cosmic and we don't even realize it. you never know waht another person is going through, where they are holding their pain, their suffering, their hurt. Which is why, as teachers and as human beigns we have to always tread lightly into another person's sanctuary. I have a deep appreciation for everyone in this program.
In love,
Leila
It only took about 30 minutes for everyone to experience that the exercise was supposed to allow us to experience. We all cried, alot. I found that I was crying not so much for myself, becuase of myself, but becuase of others. After it was over, we had to sit in two straight lines and just stare into the eyes of the person across from us. It was so beautiful. Your eyes are the windows to your soul. While I was looking deep, deep into the eyes of the person across from me I really, really felt their inner beauty, their inner light, their essence. But there was also that mystery. What is really going on inside this human being?
Then we had to sit in a big circle and trust each other fully and completely. We each had to stand up in the middle, look everyone in the eye, and sy" My name is ______ and what you don't know about me is ______." A deep, revealing secret. This really, really made me cry. I think that other's suffering has a bigger impact on me than my own suffering. During the arm exercise I was with my pain, I felt it, but it somehow seemed so distant and I was felt like I couldn 't really bring it to the forefront of my awareness. But seeing everyone reveal themselves, being with their saddness, their hurt, their suppressed secrets, really REALLY made me feel for them and for humanity.
Yoga is so cosmic! Life is so cosmic and we don't even realize it. you never know waht another person is going through, where they are holding their pain, their suffering, their hurt. Which is why, as teachers and as human beigns we have to always tread lightly into another person's sanctuary. I have a deep appreciation for everyone in this program.
In love,
Leila
yoga! Day 7!
Another breath workshop today. This time it was conducted by a yogi named Yogi Ish. I get a kick out of his name every time I say it! He was one of those esoteric yogis who come and go like the wind, who offer us something in their fleeting time with us, then leave it up to us to decide how we are getting to let it effect ourselves.
Something that Yogi Ish said is something that I think I'll keep with me and use in my own practice and in teaching others. He told us that some yogis believe that we are only allotted a certain number of breaths per lifetime, so if we breath longer, deeper, and fuller breaths then we'll live longer, deeper, and fuller lives. Whether or not this is true really doesn't concern me...I think it's a great way to practice your yoga and live your life. I never really understood the importance of breathing. The beautiful thing about these breath workshops is that they are drawing awareness to this aspect of our beings. We breath from the day we are born until the day we die. It is the prana force that guides us through our lives, the force that allows us to live in the first place, so we might as well embrace, live, deepen, learn about, bring awareness to, and realize the potential of this sacred, sacred aspect of our beings.
Yoga Ish had a very subtle, light, beautiful presence. He wasn't forceful at all. He was completely peaceful and you could just tell that he had spent a considerable amount of time in nature, getting in touch with his inner self. He gave a small talk in the beginning about the power of your breath and made us laugh a deep, deep belly laugh that felt so, so sweet. Laughter is always sweet. Sometimes I think it's the only reason worth living!! Well, maybe not the only one, but an extremely important, refreshing, beautiful one. Then we went ito some of the same breathing techniques that Yee-Ching had shown us, except with Yogi Ish we weren't allowed to move.
This breath workshop was extremely different then the last one. Last week was like a roller coaster of emotions. I laughed, I cried, I was sad, happy, nostalgic, (not really angry), etc.etc.etc. In the end, I laughed it all away and ended up in a beautiful place. During this breath workshop, I felt frusterated the entire time. I felt like I wasn't connecting with my breath in the way I wanted to be. Then we laid down in savasana and that whole spectrum of frusteration and loneliness that i was feeling just melted away. I don't even remember falling asleep and I don't know if I did, but when i awoke Lauren and Kristin were rubbing my back. I really really thought they were angels (both blonde, smiling, beautiful, kind, just what I needed. it was really REALLY perfect that they were there and I really had no desire to be anywhere else in the world but with them, talking, laughing, and being.
Yogi Ish didn't cover us with blankets. He didn't ask us to circle around him at the end and talk about our experience. He didn't name his breath workshop or make us sign waivers. He just was. And then, at the end, he was gone, like the wind. Gone with the wind.
I loved him. I loved Yee-Ching. Both breath workshops were so different, but so so beautiful in their own unique ways. Yee-Ching was there from start to finish and even the day after when she called each one of us on our self phones to ask us how we were doing. Yogi Ish's presence was enough. He wsa there to guide us and make sure we were moving in the right direction and then he let us be governed by ourselves, by our senses. He was like the wind. Yee-Ching was like a mother. i loved them both. No expectations.
In love,
Leila
Something that Yogi Ish said is something that I think I'll keep with me and use in my own practice and in teaching others. He told us that some yogis believe that we are only allotted a certain number of breaths per lifetime, so if we breath longer, deeper, and fuller breaths then we'll live longer, deeper, and fuller lives. Whether or not this is true really doesn't concern me...I think it's a great way to practice your yoga and live your life. I never really understood the importance of breathing. The beautiful thing about these breath workshops is that they are drawing awareness to this aspect of our beings. We breath from the day we are born until the day we die. It is the prana force that guides us through our lives, the force that allows us to live in the first place, so we might as well embrace, live, deepen, learn about, bring awareness to, and realize the potential of this sacred, sacred aspect of our beings.
Yoga Ish had a very subtle, light, beautiful presence. He wasn't forceful at all. He was completely peaceful and you could just tell that he had spent a considerable amount of time in nature, getting in touch with his inner self. He gave a small talk in the beginning about the power of your breath and made us laugh a deep, deep belly laugh that felt so, so sweet. Laughter is always sweet. Sometimes I think it's the only reason worth living!! Well, maybe not the only one, but an extremely important, refreshing, beautiful one. Then we went ito some of the same breathing techniques that Yee-Ching had shown us, except with Yogi Ish we weren't allowed to move.
This breath workshop was extremely different then the last one. Last week was like a roller coaster of emotions. I laughed, I cried, I was sad, happy, nostalgic, (not really angry), etc.etc.etc. In the end, I laughed it all away and ended up in a beautiful place. During this breath workshop, I felt frusterated the entire time. I felt like I wasn't connecting with my breath in the way I wanted to be. Then we laid down in savasana and that whole spectrum of frusteration and loneliness that i was feeling just melted away. I don't even remember falling asleep and I don't know if I did, but when i awoke Lauren and Kristin were rubbing my back. I really really thought they were angels (both blonde, smiling, beautiful, kind, just what I needed. it was really REALLY perfect that they were there and I really had no desire to be anywhere else in the world but with them, talking, laughing, and being.
Yogi Ish didn't cover us with blankets. He didn't ask us to circle around him at the end and talk about our experience. He didn't name his breath workshop or make us sign waivers. He just was. And then, at the end, he was gone, like the wind. Gone with the wind.
I loved him. I loved Yee-Ching. Both breath workshops were so different, but so so beautiful in their own unique ways. Yee-Ching was there from start to finish and even the day after when she called each one of us on our self phones to ask us how we were doing. Yogi Ish's presence was enough. He wsa there to guide us and make sure we were moving in the right direction and then he let us be governed by ourselves, by our senses. He was like the wind. Yee-Ching was like a mother. i loved them both. No expectations.
In love,
Leila
Yoga! Day 6!
So a grafiti artist-turned-established-painter came in to talk to us and share his artwork with us today. It was an interesting experience. I really REALLY believe that everyone has something to offer us, that we can learn something from every single human beings and the struggles and joys that they experience. However, it is also important to balance learning from others, absorbing what they offer us, with letting go the lessons that they offer us that don't resonate with us.
I really REALLY think that Greg can have anyone in the world sit on the bench in the front of the room and be our guest speaker and we'd take something valuable away from the experience. De La Vega was extremely different from all of our previous guest speakers. He wasn't warm, he wasn't friendly, and he really didn't seem that caring, yet he was 100% DE LA VEGA and he wouldn't sacrifice himself, his identity, his beliefs for anyone. His strength of character was what made him so beautiful. He paints from his heart, what he believes in, even if it comes off as offensive or unorthodox.
I was reading about ethical systems the other day. I came across 4 big ones; duty ethics, utilitarian ethics, care ethics, and...one more whose name currently escapes me. It made me wonder if one ethical system was better than any other or if two or three or even call could coexist in one person. Can you allow care ethics to be the driving force behind your actions whil still retaining your identity and being true to yourself? Or is it your duty to stand by your convictions no matter what? De La Vega seemed to allow his life to be governed by duty ethics and that's beautiful. He was charming because he spoke his heart and mind and didn't seem to get offended by questions thaat might have seemed offending to some.
De La Vega is probably someone i'd enjoy hanging out with, but no someone I'd typically spend significant amounts of time with. his presence was beautiful and wonderful and I found it refreshing to know that I could weed through what I wnated to take with me and what I wanted to leave behind about the lessons that he offered to us. Such is life; taking the good with the bad, discerning the good from the bad, maybe living with both, not judging the bad, just letting it GO!
In Love,
Leila
I really REALLY think that Greg can have anyone in the world sit on the bench in the front of the room and be our guest speaker and we'd take something valuable away from the experience. De La Vega was extremely different from all of our previous guest speakers. He wasn't warm, he wasn't friendly, and he really didn't seem that caring, yet he was 100% DE LA VEGA and he wouldn't sacrifice himself, his identity, his beliefs for anyone. His strength of character was what made him so beautiful. He paints from his heart, what he believes in, even if it comes off as offensive or unorthodox.
I was reading about ethical systems the other day. I came across 4 big ones; duty ethics, utilitarian ethics, care ethics, and...one more whose name currently escapes me. It made me wonder if one ethical system was better than any other or if two or three or even call could coexist in one person. Can you allow care ethics to be the driving force behind your actions whil still retaining your identity and being true to yourself? Or is it your duty to stand by your convictions no matter what? De La Vega seemed to allow his life to be governed by duty ethics and that's beautiful. He was charming because he spoke his heart and mind and didn't seem to get offended by questions thaat might have seemed offending to some.
De La Vega is probably someone i'd enjoy hanging out with, but no someone I'd typically spend significant amounts of time with. his presence was beautiful and wonderful and I found it refreshing to know that I could weed through what I wnated to take with me and what I wanted to leave behind about the lessons that he offered to us. Such is life; taking the good with the bad, discerning the good from the bad, maybe living with both, not judging the bad, just letting it GO!
In Love,
Leila
YOGA! Day 5!
Yoga is liberating in so many ways and it really is so so true that everyone comes to the mat for a different reason, maybe expecting something different, all seeking a different place, direction, goal. yoga is about sharing and being and fearlessness and liberation. Today Katherine taught our afternoon class. Greg read her application to us. It was completely open, honest, and beautiful.
We often don't expect certain people to have experienced the things that they have. We enter into new relationships sometimes with preconceptions, sometimes without, but these always change along the way. Katherine's openness and willingness to bear her heart to all of us for the sake of teaching us all how to be fearless and that liberation is achievable for us and for our future students was so inspiring. There is that quality in all of us, the ability to inspire, the ability to allow our inner beauty, our inner light to shine. Katherine proved it wonderfully today.
You really never know what another person is going through, what inner dillemmas they are trying to sort out, what is going on inside another person's head. This is why judgement and preconceptions are so misguided. Empathy is really always the best option.
In love,
Leila
We often don't expect certain people to have experienced the things that they have. We enter into new relationships sometimes with preconceptions, sometimes without, but these always change along the way. Katherine's openness and willingness to bear her heart to all of us for the sake of teaching us all how to be fearless and that liberation is achievable for us and for our future students was so inspiring. There is that quality in all of us, the ability to inspire, the ability to allow our inner beauty, our inner light to shine. Katherine proved it wonderfully today.
You really never know what another person is going through, what inner dillemmas they are trying to sort out, what is going on inside another person's head. This is why judgement and preconceptions are so misguided. Empathy is really always the best option.
In love,
Leila
Friday, March 14, 2008
YOGA! - DAY 4
We did a breath workshop tonight with Yee-Ching. She is this tiny, delicate little Asian woman who has traveled all around the world teaching her "Breath of Change" workshop. When Greg tried to describe it to some girl who missed it he called it "unlanguageable." This is exactly what it was. It was one of those experiences that you had to be there and really feel to experience. This blog really does nothing in the way of reconciling words with experience.
So far, all of the guest speakers who have come to share theirknowledge with us have been so different, but they've all had this quality of goodness, something about them that made you want to listen and be in their presence. Yee-Ching was the tiniest litte thing, but she ahd such a commanding presence. She had direction and she made us feel safe and comfortable in a situation that was definitely uncomfortable for alot of people.
Closing our eyes was a vital part of this breath workshop. With out eyes closed, we created a safe place, a palce that was all our own, where we had to sense to see. We went through fast breathing then slow breathing and medium breathing and Yee-Ching would guide us through each level of breathing in a sublt yet commanding manner. It was beautiful to listen to myself breath and to listen to the people around me breath to. It was beautiful being in the midst of my own internal experience and also in the midst of so many other internal experiences.
At the end of all the emotionally charged breathing we had to lie down in savasana. Yee-Ching and Greg came around and coverd us all in a blanket. I noticed that feeling warm makes me feel less lonely. This is what happens when we breath full yand deeply; we get relly really warm. So savasana was the fun part. It felt like I went through an entire life-cycle during the course of the experience; there were highs and lows and I cried, laughed, got frusterated, get sad, nostalgic. It was like an emotional rollercoaster, but it went by in a flash. This breathing exercise mirrored life and all its emototional ups and downs. It ws extremely beautiful to experience it for myself and with so many of the other beautiful people in this program.
I never really got that Marianne Williamson quote until today. I mean, i understood it, but we can understand and know alot without really ever experience what we know. Marrianne Williamson wrote:
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
Tonight, all the crying, the laughter, the silly noises, the weird sounds, and the loud breathing were all so liberating. The idea that we could all experience the same thing, yet have so so so many differennt emotional reactions to it was so powerful. It was a fearless night. And an important one. Because yoga and especially translating it must be a fearless endeavor.
In love,
Leila
So far, all of the guest speakers who have come to share theirknowledge with us have been so different, but they've all had this quality of goodness, something about them that made you want to listen and be in their presence. Yee-Ching was the tiniest litte thing, but she ahd such a commanding presence. She had direction and she made us feel safe and comfortable in a situation that was definitely uncomfortable for alot of people.
Closing our eyes was a vital part of this breath workshop. With out eyes closed, we created a safe place, a palce that was all our own, where we had to sense to see. We went through fast breathing then slow breathing and medium breathing and Yee-Ching would guide us through each level of breathing in a sublt yet commanding manner. It was beautiful to listen to myself breath and to listen to the people around me breath to. It was beautiful being in the midst of my own internal experience and also in the midst of so many other internal experiences.
At the end of all the emotionally charged breathing we had to lie down in savasana. Yee-Ching and Greg came around and coverd us all in a blanket. I noticed that feeling warm makes me feel less lonely. This is what happens when we breath full yand deeply; we get relly really warm. So savasana was the fun part. It felt like I went through an entire life-cycle during the course of the experience; there were highs and lows and I cried, laughed, got frusterated, get sad, nostalgic. It was like an emotional rollercoaster, but it went by in a flash. This breathing exercise mirrored life and all its emototional ups and downs. It ws extremely beautiful to experience it for myself and with so many of the other beautiful people in this program.
I never really got that Marianne Williamson quote until today. I mean, i understood it, but we can understand and know alot without really ever experience what we know. Marrianne Williamson wrote:
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
Tonight, all the crying, the laughter, the silly noises, the weird sounds, and the loud breathing were all so liberating. The idea that we could all experience the same thing, yet have so so so many differennt emotional reactions to it was so powerful. It was a fearless night. And an important one. Because yoga and especially translating it must be a fearless endeavor.
In love,
Leila
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